The moment a girl is born, a script is written for her life—one that revolves around marriage. From childhood, she is subtly (and sometimes blatantly) trained to fit into a mold that society deems “ideal.” Walk slowly, talk softly, don’t argue, don’t have too many opinions—these are the unspoken rules she must abide by. She is not just raised; she is conditioned to be “marriage material.”
The Tests Before Marriage
Before a woman even enters into marriage, she is subjected to countless tests—most of which a man never has to face. She must be beautiful, fair, slim, and graceful. She must be pure, untouched—a virgin. In many communities, this expectation is not just spoken about but tested in the most humiliating ways. On her wedding night, some cultures still consider it necessary to “verify” her chastity.
But do we ever put men through such scrutiny? Do we ask them to prove their virginity? Do we question their past relationships, their character, their loyalty? The answer is a resounding no.
The Double Standards of Chastity
Why is a woman’s purity a measure of her worth, while a man’s past is brushed aside? Why is her body policed while his is given freedom? Why does society burden a woman with the weight of morality while conveniently exempting men from the same standards?
I am not saying that chastity should be abolished or disregarded. That is not the point. The point is equality—the same expectations, the same standards for both genders. If purity matters, why does it not matter for men? If character is important, why is it only women who have to prove it?
The Pre-Marriage Grooming
A woman is trained for marriage from the day she is born. Every lesson she learns is not about self-growth but about adjustment—adjusting into a family, adjusting into a role, adjusting into an existence that revolves around others.
She must be polite but not too bold, intelligent but not intimidating, skilled in housework but also educated, strong but not opinionated. She must be everything yet nothing—present but invisible.
And then, once she is married, she is expected to abandon her own identity. Her name, her home, her dreams—everything changes in a blink, and she is expected to embrace it with a smile.
Marriage—A Necessity or a Choice?
Why is marriage still seen as the ultimate goal of a woman’s life? Why is she incomplete without a husband? If the expectation is to be quiet, submissive, and servile, then why do we even marry a human being? Why not simply raise cattle—obedient and unquestioning?
A woman is not an object to be owned, not a product to be tested, not a trophy to be displayed. She is an individual, a mind, a voice, a soul. And it’s time we stopped treating her as anything less.
It is time we questioned these deep-rooted traditions, these shackles disguised as norms, these expectations that do nothing but suffocate women. Because marriage should be about companionship, not compliance.
Let’s stop sabotaging her voice. Let’s stop policing her body. Let’s stop defining her worth through outdated, unfair, and one-sided standards.
A woman is enough, just as she is. Not because she fits into a mould, but because she exists.
